Inferno, Updated

How can one describe hell? I always assumed it was either filled with people running around on fire and screaming. Or maybe that Dante got it right and it would be even better.

From the window of the 20th-floor apartment in downtown Milan lent to us by our friend’s godfather, over all the thousands of city lights, the clearest landmark was the Duomo, the second largest Gothic cathedral in the world.



Of course, that was one of our first stops on our venture into the city the next morning. Not only is the outside breathtaking, with its more than 130 spires, the dimly-lit interior is surrounded by carvings and stained-glass depictions of angels battling demons, of saints and martyrs, the Blessed Virgin, and Jesus Himself.

A church so great is meant to inspire awe in the believer, and it worked, as I stood in the crowd of pilgrims and tourists mulling about the cavernous expanse. And I thought, maybe this is a place where I could find God. And I asked where He was. And I didn’t find Him.

Across the plaza rests the famous Galleria Vittorio Emmanuele, containing many of Milan’s famous upscale shops. A short walk past that we found Via Montenapoleone, where are the most upscale boutiques of Prada, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, and Armani.





Few people were afraid to show their disgust for those considered poorly dressed (like me), looking us over and glaring at us. Trying to ask for directions often meant getting a hand in your face and a brisk excuse.

During our visit to another city called Mantova, we had toured the local Ducal Palace of the former ruling family and our art history professor explained the idea of Renaissance imagery and its effect on governance – that by reviving the ancient ideals, sculptures, and paintings of classical antiquity, a ruler could claim his place as a noble and rightful heir of political and cultural dominance.

Dominance, the conquest for power through appearance, the force with which we thrust others beneath our feet – that was the theme of the fashion capital of the world. The universe revolves around you because you have to care only for yourself, since nobody else does.

On one street, in the crush of the hundreds of people coursing through stores and markets, I saw a man with a disabled woman, and I envied him, because at that moment his life had purpose, and in that place, mine had none. He cared for someone, and I was there for myself, and I was then alone. He had love, and I had not.

Before my friends got to the train station, they saw a man collapse on the pavement. Since Italy is known for its thieves, they were afraid it was an act and moved away. And as they watched, people continued passing him, people who looked but did nothing, until one man yelled for someone to call an ambulance. Because it’s a world without love. A world where you can die but no one cares about you because they can only care for themselves.

And in the absence of love, there is the absence of God, and that is hell.

I just never expected it to be so glitzy.